Last month I was talking to a friend about what he was doing and how his life was shaking out. He told me he finally got the Corvette he always wanted. I asked him why he waited so long since money was not an issue. He responded by saying that the woman he was with at this time liked fast cars so now he had another reason to get one. It made me laugh, he was finally getting his dream but had to justify his purchase not for love of himself but to gain love from someone else. We all get a little crazy when it comes to love and what we will do for it. The list is extensive: plastic surgery, clothes, body-building, dieting, fast cars, hair cuts, presents, perfume, all in the name of love. Maybe the cultures that have arranged marriages have it all figured out, after all studies show that those marriages last considerably longer than the ones based on someone having a fast car or the sculpted body.
What is real, long-lasting love based on? Friendship, knowing and trusting the other person, someone who'll stick by you when the tough times hit, kindness, a sense of humor, empathy, attitude, and common interests make for enduring love; it is not based on the quick knee-jerk attraction that heats up our ego but fails to melt our hearts.
We each desire different elements to make the love connection; tall, short, big, little, blond, brunette, green eyes, blue eyes all are preferences but that often goes out the window when someone with that special chemistry shows up in our life, never mind the fast car, the nice clothes....that is passé compared to the elusive attraction elixir called chemistry. Many of my radio guests who billboard themselves as relationship advisors and scientists studying this charismatic energy, believe that it is the hidden vibration we all have that operates at one speed or another and when someone comes into our life that vibrates at the same energy level well that's all she wrote...the click happens and we are putty in the other person's arms. I know some entrepreneurs would like to find out just how to bottle this and market it as the "love potion" but thank the stars that it cannot be trapped, altered or contained; it is magic and elusive but when it is there it is potent and all manner of willpower needs to be gathered to overcome that attraction. We may wish we are pragmatic but logic often is not as powerful as this potion; we become the lovesick fool.
When we have a love dry spell we often choose to simulate the high of falling in love by eating chocolate, the traditional Valentine drug of choice, that punches up our serotonin, the feel good hormone. If we are not in love at the moment, chocolate seems to fill the gap but only temporarily...we all still hold out for the real thing.
Love has many agendas; the Queen of Sheba sailed across the sea to King Solomon with the sole purpose of seducing him. It worked and the match produced a son who ruled Ethiopia during its greatest empire. Napoleon returned from war excited to see his beloved Josephine who he often asked not to bath before his arrival so he could remember her sweet scent that reminded him of violets. Antony and Cleopatra could not stand to be separated, so much so that they lost their lives and empires to love. The debate still continues was it lust or love? Shakespeare wrote many stories about unrequited loves that were based on observing events of his time. Romeo and Juliet, like many young lovers, both then and now, were willing to face the wrath of their families and death…all for love.
It doesn't get any easier today. When we get our hearts broken, we cry, we wish we were not fools, we close our self off from the world, get angry, and often we border on hysteria then like eternal optimists we jump right back into the fray...all for the sake of love.
Today, Valentines Day, celebrates the ecstasy of eros, the pleasure and pain of relationships, the enchantment of love and it reminds us that love, that rare and treasured elixir, may be just around the next corner or discovered right before our eyes!
Happy Valentines
Linda
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copyright © Linda Strasburg2010. Feel free to forward, but please include this section.
You can hear Linda’s radio program streaming live on the Internet called InterViews & InterActions every Saturday afternoon 2PM MST. at http://www.k-talk.com/
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